What is a Little?
A Little is a submissive (“bottom”) who prefers nurturing and guidance to be the focus of their D/s relationship.
- A Little is not interested in incest.
- A Little is not interested in pedophilia.
- Not all Littles engage in ageplay.
- Not all Littles are sexually involved with their Dominant.
- Not all Littles have a set “age” they identify with nor do all Littles “regress” into “Little Space”.
- Littles are consenting and fully capable of understanding the relationship they are entering into. They are consenting adults, not children.
- Littles are not completely dependent on their Dominant; they are perfectly capable of making their own decisions and living their own professional/personal/scholastic lives and do.
- Littles are not looking for a “sugar daddy” to take care of them; money is not the goal of the relationship.
ANYONE CAN BE A LITTLE.
- weight/height/body type
- gender (this is a big one!!! THERE ARE LITTLES WHO ARE MALE, LITTLES WHO ARE GENDERFLUID, LITTLES WHO DON’T KNOW WHAT THEIR GENDER IS.)
- level of submission—be a brat if you want! Be a total submissive doll if you want!
- sexual orientation—you don’t have to have sex to be a Little, asexual Littles are totally a thing! You don’t have to be heterosexual either!
- preferred title for significant other—You don’t have to have a male Dominant (or call him “Daddy”) to be a Little! You can have a Mommy or just a Sir, Mistress, boyfriend or girlfriend…you don’t have to call them anything (:
- interests—you don’t have to like cartoons, coloring, pink, Hello Kitty, or cuddles. You can like racecars and gore and really shitty 80’s flicks.
- distance from your significant other—you can be long distance and still manage, promise! <3
- openness of relationship—some Littles are in open relationships, sometimes they share their Dominant with another Little or they are not mutually exclusive to their Dominant. Sometimes Littles are polyamorous and sometimes they aren’t. As long as everyone’s fine with the arrangement, it’s fine! :)
- level of sexual activeness—you don’t have to have a sexual relationship with your Dominant. You might looove sex all the time, or maybe you just like the cuddles. No judgement either way!
- level of experience in D/s
- identification as a submissive or Dominant—some Littles are switches. Some—though very rare in representation—are Dominants (though throughout this guide you will find I refer to Littles as submissives, because the overwhelming majority of Littles are submissive in their role.)
- relationship status—you don’t have to have a significant other, Dominant or not, to be a Little. YOU determine if you are a Little, not who you are with.
- specific age for your Little side—some Littles identify with the toddler age range. Some identify with six, seven, or eight-year-olds (and so on). Some prefer to associate with a pre-teen or teenager age range (and may be referred to as Middles). Some don’t know WHAT their Little age is. That’s all fine!
If you identify as a Little, then you’re a Little. That’s it. :) Don’t get wrapped up in labels and identities, just be what is comfortable to you.
What does a Little do? What might a typical ddlg relationship entail? (Note!! I use the term ‘ddlg’ as a blanket term for the sake of simplicity. Typically, that stands for “Daddy Dom/little girl” but this guide is all-inclusive and applies to anyone who identifies as a Little, regardless of their relationship status, the name they call their Dominant, their gender, or any other factor. Nor do I claim to be any type of authority, beyond being in such a relationship and having talked to many people about theirs. No two relationships are alike; there is no requirement for someone to be a Little—see the above section again if you need reassuring.)
- having a significant other, typically Dominant, who may assign rules or guidelines, tasks, and assignments with the intention of looking out for, guiding, and helping the Little to become a better person. Some examples are bedtimes, rules for getting household tasks and homework done in a timely manner, and being polite.
- entering “Little mode/space”, where a Little slips into a younger mind frame. They may change their behavior and way of speaking, using “baby talk” or less mature vernacular. Some Littles—though, again, NOT ALL—may engage in diaper play and age play. This is when a Little is typically most vulnerable. This is a type of stress relief and escape from the “big” world, somewhere they need to feel safe and loved and cared for.
Another important note: Littles are not children, they are not immature nor irresponsible. Most Littles have a very stressful, demanding, and challenging schedule outside of their “Little space”. They may have a very important job, a grueling course load in school, or very important roles in their family/community. They turn to their Little space to unwind, to relax. Just like submissives of other types have said, there is peace in the letting go of responsibility for a safe time. Littles look to their Little space—and sometimes their significant other/Dominant—to be there when they let all their worries and troubles go. Sometimes they go to their Little space because they enjoy the feeling of not being in charge of everything for once. This is where their significant other is important in protecting them in their vulnerability and making sure they take care of themselves, not just everyone and everything else that needs taking care of.
Somebody asked me to make my Little FAQ (here) rebloggable, so…here you go! (I put the picture in because a: it’s super cute and b: it makes it so tumblr doesn’t squash all the text into a gross link automatically.)